Article what makes a good friend

But researchers have found that our friendships actually have a bigger impact on our health. Here are some of the findings about the health benefits of having friends:.

Logistical support: Friends can run errands and pick up medicine for a sick person, although in most studies, proximity was not a factor in the benefits of friendship. Association: It may be that people with strong social ties also have better access to health services and care or are more likely to seek help. Less stress: People with strong friendships are less likely than others to get colds, perhaps because they have lower stress levels. Positive peer pressure: Researchers have found that certain health behaviors appear to be contagious and that our social networks — in person and online — can influence obesity , anxiety and overall happiness.

But it could also work the opposite way, a large study showed an increase of nearly 60 percent in the risk for obesity among people whose friends gained weight. Dan Buettner, a National Geographic fellow and author, has studied the health habits of people who live in regions of the world where people live far longer than the average.

In Okinawa, Japan, where the average life expectancy for women is around 90, the oldest in the world, people form a kind of social network called a moai — a group of five friends who offer social, logistic, emotional and even financial support for a lifetime. The quiz asks questions about your friends and the state of their health, how much they drink, eat and exercise, as well as their outlook.

The goal is not for you to dump your less healthy friends, but to identify the people in your life who score the highest and to spend more time with them. Buettner, who advises people to focus on three to five real-world friends rather than distant Facebook friends. Your group of friends are better than any drug or anti-aging supplement, and will do more for you than just about anything. Friends have a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships, so why is it that we often put family and work demands ahead of our friends?

Why do friendships fade? Sometimes, it happens because our own lives are changing and entering new phases. The friends we surround ourselves with in adolescence serve a different purpose than the friends we seek out when we become young adults. Our needs change again as we marry or partner, when we have children and when we have an empty nest.

And studies show that the nature of friendships also can change over just a short period of time. In , Dutch scientists interviewed 1, people about the relationships they had with neighbors, many of whom discussed job stress and personal relationships and often visited or helped each other with odd jobs. But when the researchers followed up seven years later, about half of these relationships had faded.

While we need to remember that friendships undergo a natural churn as our lives change, some friendships end simply because we have neglected them. Of course, great friendships can often weather these highs and lows, but imagine how much better those connections would be if we gave our friendships the regular care and feeding they need.

Here are some suggestions for being a better friend. Given that we all have limited time and energy, it helps to prioritize a few important friendships that we want to nurture. How to decide? Start by thinking of your friends in terms of active relationships or passive connections. Both are important to our overall happiness, but passive friends take less time and attention, giving you more time to prioritize the friends that mean the most to you.

While the ties are not strong, the benefits of these relationships can be great. They provide networking opportunities and make us feel more connected to other social groups.

A study found that the more weak ties a person has, the happier he or she feels. Nurture your active friendships. Often when we think of living a balanced life, we focus on two things: work and family. But a truly balanced life really has five key components: It should also include our romantic lives, self-care including exercise and hobbies and our friends. While we may not always give all five areas equal time a new baby or a work deadline can sometimes shift our life balance , in general, work, family, love, self-care and friends are all equally important.

The good news is that friends tend to be less demanding of our time than family members and bosses, so tending to our friendships can take up a lot less time than other demands. Here are some tricks for giving your friendships more time and attention. Schedule friend dates. When life gets hectic because of parenting or work demands, your friendships tend to be the first to suffer.

But if you schedule friend dates regularly, your friendships will stay strong no matter what challenges are ahead. A few minutes of friendship goes a long way. I stopped by her desk with a question and noticed she was on deadline. It takes only a few minutes of listening and care to make a connection and reinforce the bonds of friendship.

Take five minutes to call or text, and just tell a friend you are thinking about them. Consistency matters more than frequency. My mother-in-law has joined an annual reunion of her college cheerleader squad for the past 60 years. Look at the calendar and start a new annual tradition with your friends a joint birthday celebration, a National Dog Day dog walk, an adult Halloween treat night or a tax-day cocktail.

If you want more frequent time together, check your schedules and think about the potential for a consistent monthly meetup. One of my good friends, a teacher and actress, has classes most days, but we discovered that both of our calendars are open on Wednesday mornings. Now we meet about one morning a month at a favorite diner in our neighborhood.

Exercise with friends. Scheduling exercise with a friend is a great way to stay connected, and it has the added bonus of boosting your physical wellbeing. It can be a weekly walk or a twice-weekly run — whatever works to get the two of you in the same space with time to talk. Take a class. We have limited time for both our hobbies and our friends, so why not nurture both needs at the same time and bring a friend in on the fun.

Technology has made it even easier to show friends we care. Here are some suggestions for small gestures for sustaining friendships.

Text a photo. How often do you see something that makes you think of a friend? It takes less than a minute to snap a photo and text it to them. Bring home treats from travels. When I was traveling in Spain for work last summer, I thought of a friend who would appreciate the many gorgeous cathedrals there.

I purchased a rosary and brought it home to her, a small act that I believe was the beginning of a deeper connection we now share. Share a news article. Stop by their desk. It takes two minutes to drop by a desk and let someone know they are on your mind. Feed your friends. There is something about a gift of food that makes us feel loved and cared for. To this day she remains one of my favorite friends even though our children have grown up. Show up for the milestones. When it comes to friendship, big gestures also make a big impression.

Share a song. Choose a song you want to share with a friend. Tell them why you are sharing it — does it make you think of them? Does it explain how you feel? Or does it bring back a great memory? Take time to talk about it. A large body of research shows that music helps foster deeper social connections.

Today, think about the things that you do that make you a good friend. Consider the qualities that you look for in your friends. Do you exhibit those same qualities? Be honest with yourself and make a list of at least three things you could do to be an even better friend. Put those three things into practice in the coming days. Do you notice a difference in how your friends treat you? Did they notice the changes you made? Have fun being the best friend you can be! Did you get it?

Test your knowledge. Wonder Words friend action count mood realize qualities trait presence trial loyalty communication characteristic experience assisting wavelength trustworthy Take the Wonder Word Challenge.

Join the Discussion. Zahra Mar 19, Mar 23, Mar 9, Jan 22, I had a best friend, but then we started middle school and she found a new best friend.

Jan 21, Nicole Jan 30, What does it mean to be a best friend? Amari Dec 5, Dec 11, Nov 4, That's a great part of being a good friend, julia! Baya Aug 21, Thank you so much wonderpolis. This is great article.

I love it so much. And guess what??? I'm going to share this with my friends in our Saturday program. This is great because I believe in a quote says that '' sharing is caring ''. Aug 22, Thanks for being a great Wonder Friend! Rafael Jun 4, Bernadette Aug 20, My friends aren't good friends they always runaway fr okm me. Aug 20, Jun 4, Maddy Sue Jun 4, My friend that she lets me lick mashed potatoes off her toes! Red Feb 15, Feb 18, Aan Arfian Dec 19, Am i allowed to make this artical a video, i thinks it could be more useful to everyone Jan 2, Ruby Blake Nov 27, Dec 5, Hi, Ruby!

Yes, we'll always be your Wonder Friend!!! Joslynn Nov 14, I had a friend who would ditch me for boys that don't even like her! Rod Jul 13, I feel like I'm not getting back as much as I put in to a friendship what should I do. Isabella blake Nov 27, Penny Mar 12, Apr 9, Jul 13, Rodolfo Feb 1, Feb 2, Thanks, Rodolfo!

We are so glad you enjoyed it! Pauline Oct 26, Who would we be without our friends? Oct 26, Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us! Oct 12, Mell 22 Aug 30, I have a two friends that are twins and we all knew each other since we were born. Aug 31, Ellie Apr 20, If a person is a friend do they call you or do you only hear from them when something is going on that they feel you might want to go to? In other words, if you only talk to a friend when you call them, are they really a friend.

Apr 22, Kelsie Apr 12, I have a friend but she can be really mean so what should I do?? Apr 12, Hi, Kelsie! Hopefully you can work things out! Tenaya C Mar 9, I like this this made me realize should have never gave up my best friend. Mar 11, Hi, Tenaya! Maybe you can rekindle your friendship!

Good luck! Marie Jan 19, Maria Feb 19, Wonderopolis Feb 25, Kloe Apr 12, Finding a good friend is a gift from the Lord. And we can be His gifts to others by being a good friend too.

Thanks for sharing. I am so thankful for the close friendships in my life- they truly are a blessing! Loved this! I am so thankful for the close friendships in my life and treasure them so much! Donna, thanks for reading and I am not surprised that you have good friends! You are such an encouraging person!! What a lovely post! I loved reading about such precious memories you have of some special people in your life.

What a difference a true friend can make! May the Lord help us be that friend! What a wonderful list! A good friend really is such a treasure.

I love your real-life examples! What a blessing to have so many friends. We used to be able to go out for lunch or do things together, but covid put a halt to that. Nonetheless, I did connect with two friends yesterday and have scheduled have some social-distancing visits this week. I need my friends. Thanks for sharing this! Lisa, I hope you get to connect soon! We started going to lunch and having book club and it is wonderful to be together! Thanks for reading!

I appreciate your thoughts. I am an introvert by nature so sometimes I find it difficult to make friends. I found your list very helpful. I look forward to trying them out soon. Yvonne, It is definitely a little more challenging when our personality does not cooperate with our need to meet new people.

But it is possible and I pray you find some wonderful friends! I have struggled with having true friends around me for years, I believe my standards were too high, so I see everyone as undeserving to be a friend.

It happened because if some past hurt I have received from those I called friends, so I vowed not to bring anyone closer. I can say, from years gone by until now, there has been a significant change in me.

I stop expecting from people, now I start giving out what I expect from them. Things are changing around me, and I like it. I love how you balance out being dependable with being fun! Friendship really is a well-rounded relationship.

Being real and authentic is so important and l want to be that friend, so much great points here, thanks for inspiring us to be better friends! Hello, Mary! Thank you so much for this post. God bless you! May God bless us with loving and accepting friends forever!

This article is such a blessing!! Bless you. Christian friends are such a blessing! I loved reading this posts and all the characteristics of good friends. We could all use good friends and be one too.

Everything you write here about what makes a good friend is right on target with what I have found and strive for in my relationships. I love that you point out good friends are FUN! Sometimes we forget the obvious and how that character trait applies even to God! God definitely brings joy to my heart and my relationships!

Thanks so much for writing this. This is so good! Learning how to be a friend helped me to appreciate my friendships. Even our friendships point us back to Christ. Pingback: What is Spiritual Fatigue?

And 5 Mighty Ways to Overcome It! Pingback: Who Am I in Christ? And 6 Amazing Qualities of Jesus. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Pray with Confidence. Fiercely His. Women of Noble Character. Steady On Podcast. Americana Steeples. Life is a Vapor. Sharing is caring! Share Tweet Pin. Mary Rooney Armand Mary Rooney Armand is a writer and speaker focusing on inspiring faith-based stories. She helps others grow in their intimacy with Christ and thrive in their personal relationships.

Mary lives in New Orleans with her husband Cory and four children.